USUK: Awkward Valentine
by Annabelle-Kirkland
Summary: America wants Valentine's Day to be perfect for his boyfriend England. But with the Brit being someone who can be rather brutal with critiques he is desperate for help. But going to his 2p just might be a total disaster for the day. Has profanity.


Valentine's Day. It probably had to be one of the most terrifying days of America's life, or lovers' life anyway. This was definitely an important day for couples, and what was he supposed to do for his boyfriend? He could cook a romantic dinner… but then England would complain about it being greasy or something like that… a movie sounded nice… but no way would the Brit agree to going to a horror movie with Alfred or some sappy romance… chocolates seemed innocent enough but maybe Arthur didn't like chocolates…

Why did he get stuck with such a difficult lover?

Groaning, he banged his head on the desk repeatedly. He couldn't think of anything that would truly satisfy England, and who was he supposed to ask? France was currently mourning over not being able to spend his Valentine's day with Joan, Japan would just start talking about manga love scenes, Hungary would suggest something ending with sex and her videotaping, and he definitely couldn't go to England directly.

But as he thought to himself, he finally figured out who he could talk to. Jumping up from his desk he ran to the bathroom. He locked the door behind him, just in case, and stared straight into the mirror.

"Come on dude, I know you're still in there."

His reflection shimmered and soon blue eyes stared into red ones. Allen crossed his arms and smirked, surprisingly wearing no shirt this time to show off his biceps and such. "Well, well," he gave a grin, flashing that familiar gap for where his tooth had been knocked out, "If it isn't Mr. Almighty Jones! 1p version and all! Have you come to finally unlock me out of this hell hole? It reeks like shit in here."

"One, watch that mouth of yours. Two, I'm not letting you out of there. Last time that happened you and Oliver tried to murder me and Arthur. Not to mention you raided McDonald's and took every single meat on the menu and dumped it into the ocean." At the memory Alfred internally shivered, no McDonald's for a full week. Absolute. TORTURE.

Allen rolled his eyes and placed his sunglasses on the top of his head. He looked almost identical to his counterpart except for looking like a recolor. He had dark tan skin, brownish-reddish hair, glowing red eyes, a lip piercing along with his ears, and always worse dog tags that seemed to be stained with blood. Not the most trusting guy when you looked at him, but poor America was desperate.

"So you know how Valentine's Day is coming up and all?" he asked, tilting his head to the side and pushing Texas up his nose a little further. Allen yawned and gave a nod, stretching a little by putting one arm up and grabbing the elbow with his other.

"Of course I do… it's my favorite time of the year. I can say whatever dirty pickup line I want and not get punched for it… most of the time."

"Well I wondering if you could maybe help me out with a slight problem I have. You see I really want to do something special with England and stuff, my England not yours, but I have no idea what he would really enjoy. It needs to be awesome, but nothing can really pleas him. Not to mention when I talk to him he usually just goes all tsundere on me!" he crossed his arms, "What do I do? How can I get him to do something romantic with me?"

Allen gave a evil smirk and put his hands on his hips. "Well let me teach you boy. It's all about the pickup lines, got it? Now write this down and memorize it…"

~Le Time Skip~

America fidgeted nervously as the meeting soon crept towards the half-way break. He was a little nervous, well a lot nervous, and wasn't too sure if all of this would work out for him. But the hero would always prevail! Right?

"Okay we have a z'irty minute lunch break," Germany stood up from his seat, "Be back here by 1:00 sharp. Dismissed." As everyone rose from their seats, Alfred looked around to make sure everyone had left besides Arthur before he got up and went over to the Brit. England was taking all of his papers and tapping them against the table in an attempt to turn it into a somewhat decent pile, not noticing the American's presence.

He casually tried to slip in smoothly behind the Brit but of course he tripped over the chair leg and fell flat on his face. Arthur jumped and turned to see his boyfriend struggling to peel his face off of the floor. "Oh my bloody God! America what on earth are you doing?!" he shrieked as he got down on his knees and grabbed the American's arm.

But no way was the hero going to let himself be saved by the damsel. He popped right back up and struck one of his hero poses. "I'm okay~!" he spun around so he was facing England, "You okay bro?"

The Englishman scowled and got to his feet, swiping wrinkles out of his outfit. "Can you please be quiet you git?" he snapped, glaring at him, "You were the one who fell on your face."

America took a deep breath as the shorter blonde turned to get the papers, not was the time to make his move. He took a hold of Arthur's shoulder and rested his chin in the crook of his neck with a smirk on his face. "You have some cute clothes on today. I think they would look cuter on my bedroom floor."

Poor England tensed up, eyes wide. "Excuse me?!" he shrieked, pushing America's face away, "What on Earth is wrong with you?!"

Alfred flinched, but he wasn't quite done yet. "I'm obviously a criminal," he pinned the Brit to the table, "So you must be a cop. Because I really want to fuck the police." Before he could get one more breath out, Arthur grabbed his wrists, jerked him off of his body, and flipped him over so they were suddenly in switched positions except Alfred was bent over the table, his face pressed into the wood. "OW!"

"Allen Jones!" England hissed into the America's ear, "You better release my boyfriend at once or so help me I WILL go all Oliver on you!" The dirty-blonde's blue eyes widened and he started to kick in an attempt to throw the small person off of him.

"Dude I'm not Allen!" he whined, "I'm Alfred! I promise! I just took advice from him what to say to you to get you to go on a Valentine's Day date with me!" Sure he sounded like a child, but he hadn't expected for everything to go so horribly. All he wanted was to go on a date with the person he loves and now he was pressed against the table like he was some sort of disobedient brat about to be punished. Not his exact picture of the perfect Valentine's Day with his boyfriend. He whimpered as tears built in his eyes, now everything was completely ruined.

"…" Arthur released his grip on the American's wrists, "W-what? You better not be trying to fool me Al-"

"I'm not!" he stood up and turned around to wipe his eyes and face the Brit, "I-I wanted to make today special! Y-you're my boyfriend and I-I…" he started to cry full on, "I-I can't even make you happy o-on the most important day of the year!" There was barely a paused before arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a hug.

"Oh Alfred…" Arthur kissed his cheek and stroked his hair, "I don't need you to make a big deal out of it. I never asked for anything on Valentine's Day. The thought alone that you were desperate enough to ask Allen for help and actually listened to him… that is more romantic than any date you could have planned. I don't need a fancy dinner or what most people need to classify as perfect. This," he smiled, "This is a perfect Valentine's Day. Just me and you, that's all we need."

"B-but it was supposed to be special…" Alfred bit his trembling bottom lip, "And now I just made it all flop! I didn't mean to! B-but Allen said-"

"Now listen to me right now America," England grabbed his chin, "I don't want anything coming out of you that was an idea of Allen's. I want you, that's all. Never, EVER listen to anything that little bastard has to say. Got it?"

Alfred blinked a few times, shocked to say the least, but smiled and nodded, letting the shorter blonde wipe his tears away. "I really do feel bad about ruining everything… I had brought some chocolates and flowers and a stuffed animal but I thought you wouldn't like them…"

"America!" he started to laugh, "You didn't ruin anything you idiot! This had to be one of the best Valentine's Days ever! And seriously Al," he gave a smile, "Flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals… that stuff is perfect for me. And do you know why?" America tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

"…why? I thought you didn't like 'girly' stuff…"

"I love it," he kissed him on the lips softly, "Because it's from you. And Alfred F. Jones, I love you more than anything. Even more than any of those expensive things you mention. I won't make you buy my love, you already stole my heart. Just spending today with you, eating those cheap chocolates and playing with the flowers… that's all I want." America grinned and kissed him back, lifting his hands up to support the Brit's head.

"Whatever you want babe… this is your day after all."

"No," Arthur wrapped his arms around his lover's neck, "Our day. Or are you just forever alone?"

"Meanie," he whined, but entangled his fingers into the messy blonde locks, "Do you always have to be a jerk?" The Brit shrugged and gave a devilish smirk that always sent shivers down his spine.

"If I'm such a jerk, why do you love me so much? You like it, don't you? My attitude, my temper…" he frowned suddenly, "Why do you love me Alfred? I have nothing to love… I'm just the green-eyes monster… how can you love something like that?" The American gave a soft smile and sat down, making his boyfriend sit on his lap.

"Well… I love it when you get mad, I love it how your face flushes when you're angry, I love how high-pitched your voice gets when you start to rant, I love it when you're embarrassed, I love it when you fight with France, I love it when you critique me, I love it when you talk to your imaginary friends when you think no one is looking, I love it when you fail at baking, and I love it when you cry. But, I love it when you kiss me, I love it how you are passionate, I love it how you know how to care for those who can't, I love it how you always forgive me for being an idiot. I love the crinkles your eyes make when you laugh, I love wiping away your tears when you're sad, I love calming you down when you're mad, I love how your hair will never be neat, I love how you always rock on the soles of your feet. There isn't a single thing I don't love about you," he kissed him, "Inside and out. No one on Earth can make me as happy as when I'm with you."

England looked up, his face a flushed shade of pink. "You mean all of that?" he stuttered, bring his face closer to the American's. Alfred nodded sincerely, kissing him again.

"Every word. Now how about we get this day really started?"

As they continued, they had failed to notice a hoard of countries watching from the slightly opened doors. "Aren't we supposed to be back in there by now?"

"Oh hush they're about to fuck."

~THE END~


End file.
